The Vagina Monologue
by MrBenzedrine
Summary: Hermione Granger gets caught reading "The Vagina Monologues" and Draco Malfoy just has to comment. Drabble. Fun stuff.


**This little drabble came from a picture on the fanfiction group "Dramione Fanfic Recommendations" of Emma Watson reading a "The Vagina Monologues" book. The poster then asked, "Now what would Draco say if he caught her reading this?" To which, I couldn't resist answering in this drabble. Enjoy!**  
 **~A.**

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"Hello, Granger." Draco Malfoy popped down next to Hermione Granger in the cushioned booth facing the back wall of The Three Broomsticks, a mug of butterbeer in his hand and a coy smirk on his pointed face. "Doing a bit of light reading, are we?"

Hermione looked up from her book, thoroughly dissatisfied for two reasons: one, someone was interrupting her from her Saturday afternoon ritual, and two, because that said someone was _Malfoy_. Her eyebrows drew together in a hard line as she glared at the occupant in the next seat and said, "Malfoy, don't you have anything better to do with your time? Like gawk at yourself in the mirror?"

Draco leaned even closer to her in the booth, brushing his elbow with hers. "Why would I need to do that when you could gawk at me, instead?"

Rolling her eyes, Hermione looked back to her book and tucked her chin down, while at the same time scooting her body to face away from him, hoping he would pick up on the signals of disinterest in whatever shinanigans he had planned. Unfortunately, he very well understood the hint and thus enjoyed pushing the limits of her comfortability. With quick movements, he pried the book out of her hands and flipped over the cover. "The Vagina Monologues?" he sniggered into his hand as Hermione blushed a brilliant shade of powder pink and jerked the book back from his grasp.

"Yes! Not that it's any of your business. I find these books quite insightful."

"Insightful?" Draco smirked even wider, leaning over to whisper in her ear, "Vaginas don't speak, Granger." He then added, with a cheeky undertone, "But if they did, yours would be begging for me to - _Slytherin_."

His all out laughter at her turning the color of a ripe strawberry was met with Hermione's counter, "I dare you to get through one of these monologues without stumbling over yourself. If you can do that -" she then gave her bluff, "-you can slither in all you'd like."

Malfoy's face fell instantly into somewhere between shock and intrigue, raising a cool, but effective eyebrow as he jerked the book open, nearly frantic.

"Ah, ah!" Hermione challenged. "My pick." She turned the book to where they both could see, pointed to the quote just as Harry and Ron approached the table behind them, unbeknownst to Malfoy.

"You've got to be kidding," Draco grumbled. He looked her once over, decided it might be worth it, and said, "I was worried about... my own vagina. It needed a context of other vaginas- a community, a... culture of vaginas. There's so much darkness and secrecy surrounding them- like the Bermuda Triangle."

"Malfoy's got a vagina?"

Laughter broke out from behind them as Harry and Ron scooted into the booth on the opposite side, their hands filled with bags of sweets. "Nice one, Malfoy!" Harry gave a particularly uncultured snort.

"'I was worried about my own vagina!'" Ron roared in laughter, slamming his fist down on the table. "Priceless!"

Draco paled, pushing the book back over to Hermione as she smirked. He was just about to slide out of the booth when Hermione grabbed him by the arm and leaned in to say, just above a whisper, but not loud enough for the boys to hear, "Shrieking shack, twenty minutes."

A thin smirk reappeared on his face as he whispered back, "I'm looking forward what yours has to say." And then she let him scurry out of the booth, his cheeks a brilliant shade of magenta.

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 **I won't continue the story (I love little one shots) but why don't you?! Make me a drabble in response to this fic and send me the link! I'll be glad to post links to each one on my page, and I look forward to seeing what you can come up with.**  
 **~A.**


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